Sewing patterns for clothes worth wearing,
and a limited run of finished pieces made from them.

Pattern testing

I am putting together a small group of testers who get every new pattern before it goes on sale. You sew it, you tell me what is wrong with it, and I fix it before anyone pays for it. The pattern is yours to keep either way.

  1. 01You apply below and show me a few things you have made. I read every application myself.
  2. 02When a new pattern is close to done, the whole file set lands in your inbox free, before anyone can buy it.
  3. 03You sew it and send me notes inside 14 days. Where it fought you, where the instructions were unclear, where the fit went off, and what you would change.
  4. 04I make the corrections and send you the finished version. Your name goes in the credits if you want it there.

Why I am doing this

Every pattern gets sampled before it goes up. That costs me weeks and it costs me money, and it only ever tells me how the pattern behaves in my hands, on my machine. You are sewing it on a home machine in a room that is not mine, which is the situation the pattern actually has to survive. A pattern that eight people have sewn is a better pattern than one I sewed alone.

This is not a review programme and it is not a giveaway. You are the first sampling pass. The notes you send change the file before a single person pays for it.

What you get

Every new pattern free, first, in full. Tiled Letter and A4, the A0 sheet, the construction workflow, the measurement charts and the fabric list. The same files a customer gets, except yours arrive before the listing exists.

You keep the pattern whether your notes are glowing or brutal. Brutal is more useful.

First in line for paid work

Kissing Parasites makes small runs of finished pieces. When there is tailoring or garment construction to pay for, I come to the testers first. You have already sewn my patterns, so I know what your seams look like and I know whether you finish things.

I am calling this the satellite atelier. It is a real intention rather than a job offer with a date on it. What I can promise is the order I go in, and testers are at the front of it.

What I need from you

  • A machine and somewhere to work.
  • Photos of things you have made. Phone photos are fine, and an unfinished piece with good seams beats a finished one with bad ones.
  • Your own fabric. I send the pattern, you supply the cloth.
  • The willingness to tell the person who drafted it that a pattern is wrong.

Apply

Before you apply. None of this is here to scare you off. It is here so neither of us is guessing.
  • Tester patterns are free and they are yours to sew. They are not for sharing, reselling, posting as a file, or making garments you sell. That is the same licence every paying customer gets and it is the one thing I am strict about.
  • Notes are due within 14 days of the file reaching you. If the 14 days pass and I have heard nothing, you come off the tester list. Ask for more time and you will usually get it. Going quiet is the only thing that loses the spot.
  • Testing is not employment and there is no payment for it. Paid work is offered to testers first, but it is offered, not guaranteed.
  • Keep and wear whatever you sew. Post it once the pattern is public. If you want to post before launch, message me and we will time it together.
  • Applying does not make you a tester. I take people on when there is a pattern to test, and I write back either way.
  • Kissing Parasites LLC. Utah law governs this arrangement.